Mothering in Jane Austen's Time

“A mother would have been always present. A mother would have been a constant friend; her influence would have been beyond all other. ”

 ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

Mothers occupy a strange position in Jane Austen's work. Mrs Bennet, of Pride and Prejudice, is possibly one of the most famous mothers in English literature. On the other hand, in many of Austen's novels, the figure of the mother is a conspicuous absence. Take Emma Woodhouse, who is very much the lady of Highbury; or Anne Elliot, at the whims of her foolish father. For all Austen is interested in the idea of making a good love match, we never get to see these relationships bear fruit, with her novels mostly ending with the marriage of our central couple. Unfortunately, we don't know quite enough about Jane Austen's mother, Cassandra, to judge just how much influence she had on Austen's portrayal of mothers. However, there is abundant writing on the mothers in her novels and on how mothering was viewed in Austen's time, so in honour of Mothering Sunday, let's have a closer look. 

What is 'Mothering Sunday'?

Today, we use Mothering Sunday, or Mother's Day, as an opportunity to appreciate the women who raise us. We might fetch her breakfast in bed, buy her a bunch of flowers, or take her out for lunch. However, the origins of the holiday are quite different. 'Mothering Sunday' is a day for relaxing the strictures of Lent fasting, wherein children would not attend church at their usual parish, but travel to their 'Mother' church, i.e. the one in which they were baptised. They would then return, and bestow gifts upon their own mothers, including cakes and flowers. Why not honour this tradition by baking your mother some hotcross buns?

It seems the tradition of honouring your mother on this date grew in popularity in the 17th century, becoming more commercialised by the 20th century, when the USA would part from the UK on the date the occasion is observed. 

The role of a mother in Jane Austen's Time

As is so often the case, the role of the Mother in the Regency would often come down to class. Typically, a mother would be expected to educate their children until such a time that they were sent to school, or passed along to a governess, neither of which was required by law at the time. There was a lot, therefore, riding on a mother's ability to pass her own skills and knowledge down to her children, which could be stressful if a mother had lots of them close together. This may have been the case for Austen's own mother, who gave birth three times in four years. To daughters, mothers would be expected to bestow wisdom on all housekeeping matters, from cleaning to sewing, to playing hostess. To the landed class, there would also be an expectation that mothers would prepare their daughters for their society debuts and carefully vet the social connections that they made. 

It takes a village 

Childbirth in the Georgian period remained a considerable risk. It's hard to find hard numbers, but many sources suggest that up to a fifth of births resulted in maternal mortality. The risk would have been higher for less wealthy mothers without access to higher standards of hygiene and care.

As such, a child may have had an alternative, or even multiple mother figures in their lives, from their own relations like aunts and grandmothers, to governesses and nurses. Austen makes an effort to show these different kinds of loving relationships in her novels. For example, Emma is clearly quite attached to Anne Taylor, who has functionally raised her. Additionally, we see another arrangement in Mansfield Park, wherein Fanny is sent to live with relatives because her parents are overburdened.  Anne Elliot is also deeply reliant on the counsel of her mother's friend, Lady Russell. Despite the strictures of the times, we can see in Jane Austen's work the many ways in which young people can receive maternal care from a number of sources. Perhaps there were more familial possibilities in Jane Austen's time than we can even conceive for ourselves now! 

Making a match

 “If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield,” said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, “and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for.”  - Pride and Prejudice

One of the primary concerns of mothers in Jane Austen's time was ensuring that daughters made good, appropriate matches. This could cause mothers, not unreasonably, some distress, a characteristic embodied so well by Mrs Bennet. Mrs Bennet doesn't get given much leeway by Austen, nor has literary tradition been particularly kind to her, but perhaps we should give her a little bit of leeway.

After all, if you had a gaggle of daughters and limited means, you'd probably rightly feel some anxiety about both them finding themselves impoverished. It is likely that Jane Austen herself experienced such a conflict with her mother, given that she called off an engagement with Harris Biggs-Wither and subsequently never married. So, despite the mother's fears of improper matches being portrayed as somewhat frivolous and hysterical, those fears may have actually been founded on reasonable clear-sightedness. Secure a good husband; secure your child's future. 

Will you be celebrating Mother's Day this Sunday? What are your plans? Do you have any non-traditional maternal figures in your life? Let us know in the comments.